The Turning

Tomorrow morning D and I will be consulting by phone with my new doctor who specializes in advanced treatment for traumatic brain injury (TBI). We purchased a vertical hyperbaric chamber to use daily here at home as he prescribed. My doctor will also discuss the radiological findings of the two diagnostics I had at Cerescan in Littleton, CO.

Medically diagnosed as TBI and PTSD.                                                                                        TBI — Traumatic Brain Injury is a nondegenerative, noncongenital insult to the brain from an external mechanical force, possibly leading to permanent or temporary impairment of cognitive, physical, and psychosocial functions, with an associated diminished or altered state of consciousness. PTSD — Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event.

What a journey it has been! I’ve heard all of the usual platitudes related to my ongoing mental, emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual reality.

These are the comments I hear often…”You look fine to me.” “I’m sure things will get better.” “It could be worse.” “How could something that took 3 seconds do so much damage?” “It must be nice not having to go to work.” “Just push through it.” “It will get better…just be patient.” “Have you tried _____?” “It’s all in your head.” “You’re just too stressed.” “You are not praying enough.” “Its all in your mind.” “I’m sure that things will get better.” “You need to think positively.”  “There are others who are have it worse than you.” “It can’t be that bad.” “You need to be strong.”

I ask myself every day, “Suz, where are the “I’m here for you.” and the “How can I help?” and especially the “I believe you.” ”

Something has to TURN. I will survive. I hope to thrive. I am intent on believing for wellness and kindness, and future success. I look forward to expressed love and genuine prayers.

I look forward to my daily blogs. It is my hope that they will help others. My journey is not alone. I have D right here with me, cheering me every moment, every day, every year. I have my Mom praying daily for me and often calling to check in on me. I have our grown children and our grandchildren who have never shook their heads at me or made fun of my situation. I have dear friends who have chosen to take my hand and just spend time with me in person, by text or visiting with me on the phone.

I am grateful. I am hopeful. I am glad……..and I am sad and fearful too. Its a journey one would never choose. It was a moment in my life where everything was changed and my life was flipped upside down. I won’t give in.

Can it be? Will it be? THE TURNING.