Grace To My Right Ear

Friday, August 24, 2018. Its 20:37:34 and we are at 1.3 psi here inside of my chamber. I speak grace to my right ear. I speak healing and wholeness to my right ear. I am perfectly designed to be a complete person and my God made me just like Him. My right ear is not happy. Not at all happy. I tried to chew gum, just like I said I would try, and it is already in the wrapper. My right ear won’t pop or regulate. My left is responding well. There is pain down I assume the eustachian tube and every effort brings a sound of fluid or bubbles deep inside my ear. I will work on it and hopefully the pain will go away.

Speaking “grace” to every situation, every moment, every person, to every problem, to every heart motive, to everything is what I will continue to do every day of my life. You see, grace is given freely by God and we are also extenders of His grace. It is my desire that my grace will look more like His every day. You are asking the same question I once asked….What is grace?

This computer says that grace as a noun is 1) Simple elegance or refinement of movement. I think of a dancer of course but I also remember when I would swim and how I made my movement in the water smooth and powerful. I was confident and convinced that I would win the race. I also played with water ballet but never took it too seriously. I was elegant and confident that my movements under and on top of the water were refined. On land I was only graceful if I was kicking a ball or playing tether ball or hitting a baseball or smacking a volleyball over the net. I took the time to evaluate each movement and found great joy in performing well.

Grace is defined again as a noun by 2) (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. Okay. That’s what I found online but it is my experience that God’s grace is protective and powerful. He has rescued me from far too many times of great trouble. I consider each of them to be blessings but more than that, somehow and for some reason that has to be eternal, He has far exceeded my understanding and surpassed all barriers to care for me. I am amazed at His attention to even the littlest of details and extreme patience He has had with me when I was in quite a fix. Here’s an example: I was 18 years old. I was attending a local community college. There had been a terrible event months before that I had somehow survived. (By God’s grace.) One day I was driving my vehicle and was sitting at a stop light. There were a number of cars also waiting for the light to change. It was after 5pm. It was a warm day so I had the windows rolled down. In an instant there was a gun at my temple. It was a long barrel six-shooter. I recognized the gun and looked up at the person as he was getting ready to end my life. All of a sudden an assurance came over me. I knew that I was not going to die. But this was the moment that I knew would happen one day. Instead of fear and maybe a scream (I don’t know) I told the person that I had been looking for him. As a matter of fact I was on my way to his house. You see, he was going to kill me if I did not agree with his agenda. I told him that since he had already found me, I would turn around and head back home to grab the suitcase I had prepared and meet him at his favorite place where he used to do terrible damage to me. This guy had so messed with me for over two years that I was a wreck emotionally and spiritually. It involved disgusting sexual, physical and emotional abuse. It was a pattern of abuse that had lasted too long. What I said was a lie but the words were so convincing that he lowered the gun and returned to his car. That was God’s grace and I thanked Him all the way home as I cried totally freaking out. That terrible day was the beginning of my being stalked by the guy for over 20 years. It ended with his  premature death in 1990. God protected me time and again because of His Amazing Grace.

Grace is defined as a verb in 3) do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one’s presence. WOW. This is God in my life. This is my husband. This is our grown children. I have messed up so many times and my loving family have shown me in word and deed that I am loved. They actually love me! Grace! God sent me a person when I was 17 years old who wore God’s Grace. I was wanting to die. I was done with living. I had written a letter to my parents. I was going to end my life. I saw no other way. The person that God sent me was Father Charlie. Yes, a Catholic priest, who laid down his life for me. He saw my brokenness and brough God’s love to every fractured part of me. He did not hear my confession and give me five prayers to say and send me on my way. He walked out all of the ugly, foul, hurting, abused and neglected parts of me and helped God put me back together. He even punched out the guy from above just three days prior to the most terrible time of my life. (My first very bad TBI) I was not ashamed to tell Father Charlie of the awful things that I was enduring at the hands of that other person. He promised to help me speak with my parents and get the psychological help I needed to survive. That’s not how things happened immediately but over the next few years I received all of the love and support through a very kind Catholic priest. He helped form the person I am today. Father Charlie walked through nasty nasty stuff with me. Father Charlie also presided over D and my wedding. That’s GRACE. I am honored and I credit him for our success. Today I call him Charlie. I spoke with him five years ago and thanked him for his willingness to be God’s grace to my life. Thank you Charlie! I love you so much.

This is a very important part of my life story. I wrote about these events in today’s blog to  help me recover from the “terribles,” those difficult times that I have gone through. Each of them define in many ways why I am here today in this chamber. Transparency is necessary to defeat the demons that are assigned to destroy us. I am not going to give in. I am not going to give up. I am going to win. There is a race set before each of us. And it is our race…my race…your race. Let’s be those who are cheering one another on and extending the grace to one another that we need. We need one another. We need the encouragement. We need the “I Love You” and the “I Am Here For You” and the “You Are A Very Special Person To Me” and every GRACE-FILLED encouragement we can give to one another. Stop for a moment and think of one person you can bless today, right now with a kind word or deed. It’s never too late. It’s never too late to be GOD GRACERS!

My parents were married for nearly 64 years at my Daddy’s passing five years ago. Today is their Anniversary. I had flowers sent to Momma today. I called her twice. I thanked her for loving Daddy. I said that I love her. I kissed her. I showed her the love that Daddy asked me to give her after he was gone. I promised to send her a gift every Christmas, every Anniversary and every Birthday. What an honor it is to extend the GRACE of my Daddy’s Love to my Mother, my Mommy, my Momma, my Mom!

Its nearing time to end this dive. My right ear seems to have relaxed but has not popped yet. The body aches and headaches were less today but the dizziness is still increased. I like it in here. The 90 minutes goes by quickly. I could take a nap in here. The ice pack at my chest is really good. It keeps me cool and less anxious because of the stuffiness. This is going to be very good. It is good!

God’s Grace and Love to you always,

Suz