Good Sunday Evening, October 28, 2018 @ 17:34:26 MT. I am enjoying my dive as I always do. The pressure is right. The oxygen is flowing. The air is cool. I am ready to begin another journey with you. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Tribute! Today’s blog is dedicated to Eugene Peterson, the author of The Message Bible. He passed away six days ago, on October 22nd. His family wrote, ““During the previous days, it was apparent that he was navigating the thin and sacred space between earth and heaven. We overheard him speaking to people we can only presume were welcoming him into paradise.” What a way to leave planet earth! One of the last words Eugene Peterson said was, “Let’s go!” Read more if you are interested in Christianity Today.  In the late 1990’s The Message Bible New Testament was first published. The OT and NT Message Bible was completed in 2002.

I chose to spend the rest of my life in God’s service a few years into our marriage. It was probably in 1976. I began reading the King James Bible initially. It was too hard to understand even though I enjoyed listening to Pastor Chuck Smith read from it. I found  the New American Standard Bible version and used it for years. I loved the New King James Version when it came out. The Living Bible was very good too. The New International Version was also just as good. Then came the Message Bible and my eyes and heart exploded (in a very good way) when I was introduced to it. It spoke to me in today’s American language. Thank you Eugene Peterson.

There are so many events in life that stand out; both good and bad, blessed and sad. There are people who either by their kindness or their harm contributed to forming our lives. Each are like the outline of a coloring book image. They formed the borders and we choose daily to either blot out those lines or learn to color inside of them.  Those events and those people brought us to where we are today. They are always characterized by solid black lines, aren’t they? Today, I choose to color inside of the lines with vibrant colors. I choose well!

The events of my life prior to marriage were not so good in many ways. I used to say that my childhood ended at age eight. It was a tough transition to leave the familiarity of family and home town and move 3000 miles away to the great unknown. California is where I faced the horror of being raped and continued sexual, emotional, spiritual and physical abuses which resulted in my near-death at the age of 17 years. So much pain and shame. So much injustice. I was not a bad girl. I always wanted to be obedient to my parents, teachers, coaches, priests and nuns. I wanted to be loved and not harmed. After God saving me from near-death I acted out. I was angry and wanted to hurt anyone who came too close. I did not trust anyone. Why should I? I was told by my swim coach, “You know that I love you!” I was told by my eighth grade and again twelfth grade nun/teacher, “You are worthless and ugly.” I was stalked for over 20 years by the abuser who was responsible for the near-death nightmare I still live through nearly every day of my life.

One of the evidences of my past is the PTSD I suffer regularly. Its sinister. It messes with every part of my being. I have to fight it daily. I withdraw from relationships. I think not-so-good thoughts. I avoid being touched unless I am aware of that person being safe. I am obsessive, compulsive and phobic. Isolation is my best friend.

Somehow God showed up and He keeps showing up in so many loving ways. I still wonder where He was all those years ago. Why didn’t He rescue me from all of the pain I still struggle with today? Why did He allow those mean and hurtful people to do those terrible things to me including mind-rape me? If I was told that I had to do something I didn’t question it. I had no rights. I had no personal boundaries…they were taken away from me swiftly. All of my rights were left behind, discarded, neglected, mocked and shamed in all of the traumas I experienced.

The most recent TBI caused my past to catch up with me. What a snowball effect! BUT what a wonder-filled blessing God has provided in bringing all of my parts back together in harmony! I have noticed that my mental health is much better when I do these dives. Yes, mHBOT is the best medicine for me. I have been here for over an hour and enjoying every breath I take. The pressure is good because I am focusing on the reality that I am doing myself good. I am giving a very loving gift to myself every time I sit in my chamber. I imagine blood vessels being formed in those dead spaces of my brain. I believe that God is sending each oxygenated breath to my lungs where all of that good stuff is benefiting all of my cells. I am trusting that the time I spend in here is the best choice I can make in looking forward in a hope-filled future with D. We are together in God, in love, in good relationship, in wholeness. Yes! These dives are for our marriage!

It is time to end this dive. I sometimes want it to continue. I have been in here for over 1.5 hours. Dinner is probably waiting. Thank you D. Thank you for joining me today. Keep looking upwards….you might get a glimpse of God.

I have included a chapter that Eugene Peterson wrote in his translation of 1 Corinthians 13 for your reading pleasure. It’s all about HIS LOVE. Everything I am. Everything I do. Everything I say. Everything I think….leads me back to HIM.

Hugs always,

Suz

1 Corinthians 13 The Message (MSG)

The Way of Love

13 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

² If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

^3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

^8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

¹¹ When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

¹² We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

¹³ But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.