Good Monday Evening, November 5, 2018 @ 19:56:09 MT. I am comfortably seated in my chamber and looking forward to the peace I so gladly welcome every time I dive. The ATA is right at 1.3. I have my oxygen mask on. I put my personal fan on my right shoulder to get plenty of cool air blowing at my chin. I also have sound therapy happening in my ears. My ice pack is on me like shoulder belts. I am one cool lady! That’s for sure.

Tears Of Joy is tonight’s theme. I am feeling the love of my Mom tonight. She and I spent a few minutes talking earlier today. We kept our conversation short because I have been in a place of mental turmoil. I have been nursing headache and neck pain today. Last night I was able to sleep but I woke with the headache and dizziness. The dizziness was nearly forgotten these past few weeks since the treatments I received from Dr Hughes. I realized that I was experiencing all sorts of emotions too. I am sure that it is because of the bandini mountain that we are facing currently. I suppose it is good that we do not get bits and pieces of bandini over time. It is better in the long run to see everything for what it is. But o my goodness…what a mountain to maneuver around!

Tears Of Joy! caught me off guard. Mom blessed me with a path out of a major contributor  of my current turmoil. She is going to fund two important components to my healing and I need only pay her a small amount monthly. What a blessing! God chose well! He decided eons ago to give me a godly mother and father. Tears Of Joy! I wanted to reject her offer of assistance. I wanted to negate my worth. I had to choose between looking at that mountain of smelly stuff or accepting her hand to walk around it. Humbly, I thanked her. I took my Mom’s hand. And she led me out.

Tears of Joy! Since earlier today, I have found a tear fall from my eyes every time I thought of the wonderful Mom that God gave me. Back in the early 1990’s I had a partial hysterectomy. The surgeon really harmed me. She sewed my vaginal cuff to my bladder. It caused my lower abdomen to become infected and 1/3 of my bladder to die. I discovered the severe issue when I (in public) started peeing down my leg. My vagina had opened up to let the urine out of my body. It was filling my abdomen and causing multiple problems deep inside of me. I wondered why the holes in my abdomen were oozing pus, but what did I know? I needed to be repaired quickly.  The surgeon took many hours to put me back together. He was successful but because of the extent of infection and the drastic repair I had to go through, I would not wake up after the surgeon sewed me up. I was cold and clammy. I was unresponsive. The nurses were doing everything they could to save my life. They put a tent around me and it was blowing very hot air at me to warm my body temperature. My Mom and Dad were waiting patiently for a nurse to tell them that I was okay. They had been waiting for over six hours. Finally my Mom was done with waiting. She found me in recovery with the nurses working to revive me. Mom screamed, and kept screaming at me to wake up. She told me that it was not my time to die. Finally through her tears. prayers and passion I heard Mom’s cries. Her words were faint but I acknowledged that I heard her and promised Mom that I would not die. I survived that terrible ordeal because my Mom refused to give up on me. The following week I needed Mom and Dad to be with me every hour they were allowed to be visiting me in my hospital room. I needed to hear Mom’s words of love. I needed her constant assurances that I would survive. I was NPO for six days when I asked the nurse for jello. Mom told her to get the jello and do it now! The nurse called my surgeon and he reluctantly agreed. You see, my body was shutting down. My intestines would not wake up, so it is not a good thing to feed a person with seriously failing intestines. A nurse brought the jello to me and told me to take little bites. I am not a fan of jello but I had to eat. Mom encouraged me to suck on the jello. I devoured it. In a few hours my intestines were making sounds and I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted. I began walking the day before I ate the jello. The nurses were not sure that I should be standing but I had to move. Mom carried all of the stuff that was attached to me as I walked the halls. It was quite a sight to see. The day I was discharged, I had already walked a mile and was ready to walk all of the way home from Las Vegas to Ridgecrest, CA! Thank you Mom for loving me so much. Thank you for waking me from the door of death. You chose to lift me up from the depths of hell. You always have been my shining light! I love you so much.

Tears Of Joy! I have written about my Mom in other posts but have I told you about how honored I am to be Patricia Mae Komes Hilgen’s daughter? God blessed Mom and Dad with seven live births. I am the oldest. I have six brothers. I call them the Brother’s Six. Each of us are uniquely different but we have Mom and Dad’s hearts toward one another. We love each other with passion and we get irritated with each other now and then! We were raised to keep our eyes and our hearts on the whole and not be fooled by individualism. Mom and Dad involved all of us in weekly activities. We went to church every Friday night and Sunday morning together. We ate the same menu regardless of whether we liked it or not. Mom’s chop suey was our favorite meal together. We waited as each opened their presents at Christmas. We made a big deal over birthdays. We played together. We fought together. We cried together. And we laughed together. Each of us were special parts to one another’s weddings and children’s births. Mom and Dad made every day valuable to us. Thank you Mom. Thank you Dad. Thank you Mike, Joe, Chris, Greg, Terry and Tom. Thank you family! I am honored to be your daughter, Mom!

My 90 minutes are coming to an end. I feel rejuvenated by the oxygen and the use of this chamber. I am cool and refreshed. I am at peace. The sound therapy is very good for my soul. I feel good. thanks for sharing this dive with me.

Tears Of Joy! I am reminded of a song I have sung for years. Its Psalm 126. For those of us who were raised to sing the Psalms, you will know it too. It is about Israel’s return from captivity in Babylon. This Psalm is forever imprinted on my heart. I have suffered so many things in life and endured terrible, tragic events but I have never lost the love my Mom and Dad had for me. They are the glue that kept me alive. Mom, you taught me to love God; Three in One, with all my heart. I can sing this Psalm with confidence and conviction.

Psalm 126 King James Version (KJV)

126 When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream.

² Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them.

³ The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.

⁴ Turn again our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the south.

⁵ They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

⁶ He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

Hugs always,

Suz