Good Afternoon Dear Friends.
August 2, 2019 already! WOW!
I am sitting inside my chamber enjoying the cool air around me. An hour ago, we turned the window air conditioner on to cool the room. I put eight lunch box ice packs and a large therapeutic ice bag inside a cooler where the coiled tubes from the compressors are sending cool air inside my safe place. I have wrapped my body in a knee ice pack. Yes, it is perfect to pull over my shoulders. I turned on my personal essential oil fan with four drops of frankinsence in it. I am drinking iced coffee and I am nibbling on some nuts and candied ginger. My cell phone is with me so I can talk with Mom. My laptop is here with me too, of course. It is already 12:24pm. Where has half of the day already gone? My ears particularly feel tender today but I am doing well. We are at full pressure. Let’s do this together!
The past ten days have been very tough. I have relied on the strength of my precious husband and my brothers Greg and Terry to handle the family crisis personally. Their support has helped me relax enough to fight this battle. Mike and Chris have also helped me emotionally.
My nearly 91 year old Mom spent a few weeks with us last month. We had a great time together. We played card and dice games. We had great conversations. We ate delicious meals together. We enjoyed a family dinner with Garrett’s family too. Mom gave me great hugs and kisses every day. We enjoyed watching our granddaughter/ her great granddaughter in a University of Oregon softball camp and a national softball tournament. We also enjoyed a delicious dinner date with my brother Tom and together we met my grand-niece, Mom’s newest great-granddaughter (**) along with her precious new parents, Brennan and Michala. I love having Mom here and truly missed her the moment we said good-bye at the gate for her return home. ** Mom is a great grandmother again…yesterday another baby girl was born. Yeah! Mom is the mother of one girl and six boys. She is a grandmother of sixteen and the great-grandmother of nine.
My Fighting Spirit has had an exhausting and overwhelming ten days. Last night was the first good sleep I have received in over a week. Mom was bit in the ankle by one of my brothers small dog and the cascade of serious medical issues lit up in her frail body.
Mom is a thousand miles away. I couldn’t be there to manage every moment of her recovery. I fought every day for her. I probably frustrated my brothers with my deep concern for Mom. I wanted to take over and instead, I had to surrender.
In the past 10 days, Mom was a patient in the ER twice and then she was hospitalized for multiple days. Mom is now continuing to recover in a rehab hospital. Her diagnosis is systemic cellulitis. It is a serious infection. She has been on constant antibiotics since last Friday. Mom is receiving hour-long physical therapy six times a week and occupational therapy five times a week. The rehab hospital will not release her until her complete treatment team are in agreement that Mom can return home infection free and capable of living safely.
I will continue to FIGHT for Mom. My Fighting Spirit has been through so much over my lifetime. I will not give up or give in to the ploys of the enemy of my soul. Those same devious and distructive enemies have brought harm to those that I love. They have also severely harmed those who I have served as a nurse, addiction counselor and also my customers who meant so much to me. I FIGHT even for you.
I am not superwoman or have extraordinary skills. I am passionate and eager to assist others. I live a life of faith. My faith defines me. My faith is my defense.
In my mother’s womb, I fought the environmental issues that tried to take my life. I was my Mom’s first child. Mom and I were incompatible, so I fought to survive, even in her womb. Mom needed a surgical procedure also while I was in her womb. That too was a battle to overcome. And I did! — My Fighting Spirit.
The day of my birth was tragic. The nurses infected seven of us born that day with fecal nasties. I am the only baby that survived it because my Mom noticed an infected scratch on my hand a few days after she brought me home. The doctor gave me antibiotics a few days before the acute bladder, kidney and liver infection was detected. —My Fighting Spirit.
As a first grader, I was diagnosed with Rheumatic Fever following a routine tonsillectomy. It was a terrible year as I remember. I triumphed. — My Fighting Spirit.
I have written previously of the years of sexual abuse I tragically experienced at the hands of my swim coach. I have recently realized that I was trafficked by him and the outcome could have been even worse. He used me in his multiple schemes to harm me and other swimmers. I have written previously of the other trusted adult who not only harmed me on a daily basis sexually, emotionally, and physically, but he also stalked me until his death after I had married and become a mother. This person took advantage of a girl who wanted most to be an obedient daughter. He threatened me with death with guns to my head and knives to my private parts. He mind-raped me and left me in the middle of the street, bloodied and unconscious. These terrible men intended to strip me of my identity. They used and abused me in their devious plans to take advantage time and again of my personhood. Through the years my husband has been stellar in protecting me and loving me unconditionally even when I did not want to be touched or even told that I was loved. I am not destroyed and I continue to fight those demons that were perpetrated on me. With the help of Jesus and everyone who truly love me, I will triumph. — My Fighting Spirit.
I have had far too many medical procedures, surgeries, injuries, accidents and complications throughout my life. I have fought for my medical best, even when the motives of those medical professionals were not pure. I have struggled with the adverse consequences of medical mistakes and the residual limitations following each diagnosis and treatment. I have won each battle and will continue throughout my life. — My Fighting Spirit.
Multiple brain injuries have harmed me over most of my life. 50 years plus. 1) As a teenager I fell from a moving vehicle. I was dragged by that vehicle. I flew from the vehicle landing on my head. I was unconscious and seizured. I was left abandoned in a heap. Once in the hospital I was put into a medically induced coma and woke with partial blindness, a depressed skull fracture and terrible brain injury. 2) I was a passenger in a vehicle hit by a drunk driver. His vehicle hit us right where I was sitting. Whiplash, c-spine, t-spine, l-spine injuries have resulted in stenosis and spasms for years. 3) A face-plant on a concrete driveway that resulted in severe headaches and nose pain. I ended up with a slight deviation of my nasal septum. 4) A fall at work nearly 3.5 years ago was first diagnosed as a concussion. A MRI seven months post-injury, I diagnosed TBI with softening and scarring of my frontal and temporal lobes. Last year two further diagnostics confirmed that I suffered a Moderate TBI. Every location of my brain was injured by the fall. Before I began these hyperbaric dives and multiple progressive adjunct therapies, I was regressing in speech, memory and cognition, movement, sleep, personal care related to emotional, physical and spiritual vitality and relationships. I was becoming isolated and my total brain function was failing. Emotionally, I was depressed and listless. I was unable to live daily life without the constant attention of my husband. I was frustrated by those who told me time and again that I looked fine or questioned how a few seconds could do such damage. Those hurtful words did not benefit my recovery. I chose to fight despite all of the opposition. — My Fighting Spirit I am so grateful for this chamber and every therapy I do to improve my health. I am grateful for the support of my excellent medical team. The loving care and attention of my husband and family are excellent motivators for wellness. My Mom is a vital part of my recovery. That’s why these past 10 days have been so difficult. — My Fighting Spirit.
How am I able to endure so many tough blows and still choose to thrive through every violation and threat?
What is a Fighting Spirit?
The Cambridge Dictionary’s definition: noun; the willingness to compete or to do things that are difficult: synonyms: bravery, backbone, boldness, daring, fearlessness, fortitude, heart, nerve, valor… Another definition that I found online is: (n.) somebody whose heart and soul refuse to give up when going through a difficult time
Mom speaks of my infancy with such tenderness. She told me that every time she and I passed a cross on the wall that she would point up to it and speak the name of “Jesus.” “Jesus” is the first word I spoke. Mom wrote it in my cherished baby book. My spirit-man only knows Jesus to be the One Who has always fought for me and He also fights with me. This is my definition of Suzanne’s Fighting Spirit!
I have vivid memories of being in sterile rooms; as a baby and as a first grader, where the angelic comforted me. Rheumatic fever left me with very sensitive skin. Throughout my life, if my skin is not being touched by soft fabrics or surfaces, I am extremely uncomfortable. There are nights when I can not get comfortable because of my skin sensitivity. I find my peace by asking Jesus to give me the awareness of His presence or the presence of angelic helpers. He has never failed me.
Have you ever felt needle and pin sensations after walking a distance, following lifting heavy items, or having a charlie horse or limbs falling asleep? That’s the best way that I can help you understand the feeling I have on my entire body surface every minute of every day of my life. Now, imagine being repeatedly violated by those whose interest was in their pleasure alone and me having no way of escape from their repeated violations. Imagine years of medical issues and procedures that caused more harm and loss that has devastated me biologically, emotionally and spiritually. Imagine how difficult it would be to constantly be on guard and ready to fight for the simplist personal rights. And imagine having to fight battles with those who laugh at or mock my years of recovery since the fall at work. And yet, I continue to fight. — My Fighting Spirit.
My comfort is completely in the Person of Jesus, My Christ. I rely on prayer, constant angelic assistance, daily repentance and praise to help me navigate through my days. Scripture is not words in a common book, written posts on FB or a thoughtful greeting card. Scripture is the very life that I breathe. I have attached a very important part of a chapter in the Bible that means so much to me. It has been a great comfort. I live these word daily.
Chapter 8 of Romans is a defining chapter in my life. It explains being a person who is loved by God and then it transitions to understanding that I am a person who knows God’s love. I have included the last few verses that best describes me today, right now, and for the rest of my life. I hope that you enjoy reading it. — My Fighting Spirit.
Romans 8:35-39 (The Passion Translation)Who could ever separate us from the endless love of God’s Anointed One? Absolutely no one! For nothing in the universe has the power to diminish his love toward us. Troubles, pressures, and problems are unable to come between us and heaven’s love. What about persecutions, deprivations, dangers, and death threats? No, for they are all impotent to hinder omnipotent love, even though it is written:All day long we face death threats for your sake, God. We are considered to be nothing more than sheep to be slaughtered! Yet even in the midst of all these things, we triumph over them all, for God has made us to be more than conquerors, and his demonstrated love is our glorious victory over everything! So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!
Hugs always,
Suz
Suzanne's LiveWell Blog 