Good Monday Evening, December 17, 2018 @ 17:53:29. I have been recuperating from a serious stomach ailment for the past two + weeks. It was a monumental experience. I seem to finally be more able today.

Tell You What! is my theme tonight. Recovery is truly a process. I am willing to take it all of the way folks. I’m not giving up. I won’t let it get to me. I won’t let it slow me down either. It’s just what it is. And I am taking life one day at a time.

I had a nasty time with digestive tract issues and then two weeks of flu-like symptoms. It was suggested to me that it might be a part of the recovery regime so I accepted my issues as part of the total package.

D and I met with the spinal surgeon. He detailed the seriousness of D’s condition, It’s called Spondylolisthesis of his L4-L5 vertebrae with spinal nerve root compression.  D has chosen to go under the knife in late January. His ability to function well is deteriorating rapidly. A few days ago he couldn’t feel the floor beneath him and he had sensations of slipping. That really frightened me. It is obvious that we are in a true crisis situation.

Tell You What! It’s Christmastime. It’s time to celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. It’s time to enjoy our youngest grandchildren open presents. It’s time to eat a celebratory dinner and watch Hallmark movies and football. We will participate but limit our exposure to possible falls or any other issues that could happen.

I am in my chamber. The ATA is at !.3. I am breathing from the oxygen mask. I am sipping on pom/water. And I am typing this blog. The daylight has passed and D is cooking dinner in the kitchen. All is good here at home. And I am grateful.

Tell You What! I am developing a deeper passion for nutritional health. I see a very distinct correlation between my brain health and my gut health like never before. It’s one thing to say that I am recovering from traumatic brain injury and ignore my entire body’s responses at a cellular level. I will be focusing study and keeping a journal on the foods that I am now eating, the supplements that I am now taking, the length of time I spend in this hyperbaric chamber, the exercise program I am beginning, and the spiritual attention I am giving to my God. Please stay tuned for what I am learning.

I am currently taking specific nutritional supplements to correct much of what I have already told you about. I am going to finally begin the light therapy and alpha stimulation in the near future. I am going to begin a regime of stretching exercises with bands. We are also eating a strict diet that is AIP (Auto Immune Paleo)/Ketogenic. No more gmo/non-organic foods. No more dairy except for the ghee that I make here at home. No more gluten, corn, sorghum, rye, soy, sugar, and canola oil. We have thrown out all foods that had any of the products that are derived from the above. We have limited our rice and oats too. There are a number of fruits and vegetables that we will either stop eating or eat only occasionally. This strict diet limits our eating out at restaurants or at people’s homes too. I will explain more as we progress with our new lifestyle changes.

Tell You What! I thank you for walking this out with me. It truly is an honor to know that you are there supporting my program of LIVING WELL. Thank you for your continued prayers for D and me. We cherish you.

Hugs,

Suz

 

 

Good Saturday Evening, December 1, 2018 @ 19:47:14. I am sitting in my chamber watching the gauge climb. My left ear is not wanting to adjust yet but I will continue to work with it. Since winter weather has arrived I do not need the extra cold packs inside the chamber. I continue to use my personal fan. I direct the blower to my  neck and sometimes rotate it to the back of my neck while I am in my dives. Oxygen is flowing and the chamber is fully inflated. There is a special valve at the top of my chamber that regulates the air to maintain the 1.3 ATA.  I still put a large ice pack in the bucket close to where the concentrator tubes attach to the chamber to cool the air that is being blown in. I am feeling the cooled air and it is very pleasant. All systems are good. My left ear has adjusted to the dive. Yahoo!

Change Of Pace. Do you realize that every time change happens, everything else in your life has to adjust to it? Exactly! That’s where I am today. These changes are also occurring in D because he’s in this journey with me.

Change Of Pace talks about a change from what was once common or normal/routine. I must change what I am accustomed to. My daily routine has been altered. I will have to develop a whole new mindset and practice it well in order to accomplish my intended goals.

Change Of Pace. It all began with us purchasing this hyperbaric chamber in mid-summer. We had to make room for the chamber. Then we had to set it up. Then we had to learn how to use it properly. Today is my 60th dive. I have dived a total of 119 hours. It has become a vital part of my recovery. I am pleased and will gladly continue my dives. I have noticed that I receive mental clarity and feel rejuvenated after each dive. I also enjoy the confines of this vertical chamber. It is large enough for me to sit very comfortably in a chair and still have the freedom to stand up and even circle the chair if I desire. The two windows keep me in touch with the world that I find comfort and peace in. The oxygen mask is comfortable and presents no problems to breathing.

Change Of Pace. It is 6 weeks since I had my three-day clinical treatment protocol. It was quite an experience! Multiple procedures were accomplished. Intranasal protein rich plasma and stem cell therapy, NAC therapy, iv nutritional therapy, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, cranial osteotherapy, nasal cranial release, light therapy, alpha stimulation, music-based therapy, neck pain injections, MCT oil and other nutritional supplements, Ketogenic diet, a whole bunch of education and encouragement was provided me while I was treated by Dr John Hughes, Dr Dave and Kirk. D was able to be there too so he had the opportunity to learn about the multimodal, regenerative approach to recovery from traumatic brain injury first-hand. I left Basalt, CO not knowing what the future held but I was determined to recover! I was to continue hyperbaric oxygen therapy 5-7 hours per week. I came home with a number of supplements designed to assist me in a number of ways. Ginger for the terrible intestinal issues I have had since my fall at work. Intranasal insulin treatment done at night for 10 days. A special supplement to take when I experienced any head pain. 1 Tbsp of MCT oil daily, Rx for additional therapies to assist in my recovery. And two urinalysis kits to check for certain markers that Dr Hughes suspected.

Change Of Pace. Dr Hughes has an excellent associate. Her name is Dr Rachelle. She has been following up with me since I returned home. She has encouraged me every time that we have talked by phone. Last week Dr Rachelle called me with the results of the first urinalysis. O my goodness! My body is messed up. But it is in repair. I will change my lifestyle in every way to accomplish recovery!

Change Of Pace. Dr Rachelle is certain that I am positive for celiac disease. I have written previously that when I was just 18 days old that I had nearly died. I was introduced to baby cereal at that young age. So dear ones, I am to make sure that no foods that contain gluten are ever eaten again. I have been attempting a gluten-free diet for about three years now, but today I have a very good reason to act on this new lifestyle. Dr Rachelle also informed me that I am positive for candida. So here is my new diet: No gluten, no grain (I can eat organic oats on occasion), no dairy, no added sugars. Yep! I need to learn a new way of eating that consists mainly of whole food proteins, certain veggies and fruit, and specific fats. I will be getting rid of all packaged foods like pasta and crackers. Most of our canned goods and jarred foods are already g-f and organic but I will need to pay more attention to the additives in those prepared foods. Dr Rachelle also told me that my serotonin levels are very low. I pretty much knew that, but the labs confirmed it. I am to supplement with Co Q 10 and Vitamin C and also begin drinking electrolyte-rich water. She provided me with a list of the supplements that she recommends. I am so grateful for Dr Rachelle.

Change Of Pace. I want to get well. I want to know life without all of the limitations that my traumatic brain injury left me with. I want to be able to enjoy living as I have always hoped for. I want to comply with Dr’s orders. I do not want to remain in this limbo-like state of blah. I hope to feel the thrill of living a healthy life and delight in the years I have yet to live. I want to cherish every moment. I hope to know the joy of mutually expressed love with my most precious husband and family. I want to LIVE WELL.

Change Of Pace. And finally dear family and friends, I need your prayers. I need your kind words of encouragement. I need your phone calls. I need your visits. I need to touch the living and active and passionate places of life that had been robbed/stolen from me on the day of my work injury; Sunday, March 13, 2016,  and every day that has passed since then. I know that I must travel life’s road but I can not do it alone. I need you. And I know also that you need me too.

Hugs,

Suz

 

 

 

Good Thanksgiving Eve, November 21, 2018 @ 18:06:25 MT to you! I am sitting very comfortably in my hyperbaric chamber and the pressure gauge is slowly rising. Both of my ears had me yawn. Aw, there! I decided to only spend one hour in here tonight because I need to get everything that I am baking organized for early tomorrow morning. I will not be doing very much baking. Not as much as I would like but I will have fun anyway. The ATA is already at 1.0 so I will be putting my oxygen mask on very soon. I am so comfortable in here. It is such a joy to do these dives each week. I have my personal fan blowing at my neck. The ice pack is helping the air inside the chamber to be very comfortable for me to wear my tank top tonight and chill! I have my mask on now because the ATA is at 1.3. All is great! A very Thankful dive!

I Am Thankful! I remember a time years ago when I wasn’t very thankful. I had just been fired from a job that I loved. God was with me all along the way. I had to taste the sting of being fired for a greater good. My employer was violating State and Federal law. They did not appreciate me much for keeping excellent records. In the end, a number of people spent time in prison and the center to be shut down. The entire process caused me to lose heart and become embittered. One day I had a talk with God. I let Him know just how I felt. I had a vision of  Him standing in front of my heart. He was holding a delicate hammer and chisel. My heart was encased in concrete. He was nodding His head and patiently waiting for me to agree with Him. I nodded in approval. My LORD began gently removing the concrete to reveal my viable heart that needed revitalization. I cried for myself in repentance. Then I found a pen and paper and wrote each verse in the Bible on Thankfulness. My heart was transformed that day!

I Am Thankful! In my 19th year I needed an emergency surgery. My appendix was inflamed and I was bleeding internally from a blown ovary. A large cyst had formed and busted beyond the normal eruptions that occur at ovulation. My surgeon suggested that I have children within the next few years because both of my ovaries were not very healthy. I got married at 22 years old and we were not ready to have children. My precious daughter, Sarah, was born just weeks before my 27th birthday. The events leading up to her birth are quite a story. I knew that she was in my womb but obstetric medicine said otherwise. On my third attempt to find a doctor that believed me, Sarah had already been developing for over four months. The night of her birth is another of my most thankful days. I love you so much Sarah Janelle.

I Am Thankful! Three years later on Sarah’s 3rd birthday, Garrett Thomas decided it was time to make his presence known. He was already three weeks late and making quite a scene! I told him that he had to wait a day for his own birthday. He obliged me. Garrett was born the following evening. I cried when Dennis introduced me to him. I had no idea just how thankful I would be. I was nearly 30 years old and God had blessed my life with an awesome husband, an adorable daughter and now a really big baby boy! (10 lb 14 oz , 24 inches long)

I Am Thankful! I have written about many of the terribles I experienced in life in earlier blogs, but have I told you that each of those tragedies had to be addressed multiple times throughout my life as I recovered from all of their wounds? O yes they have! Flashbacks, body memories, random sensations, events and thoughts bring me to tough moments where I have to face each demon and fight for my life. Dennis has been there to assist me with each one…multiple times. He has never discounted or diminished or shamed or blamed me. I am blessed!

I Am Thankful! I am enjoying the benefits of recovery with this hyperbaric chamber. I am thankful for every hour that I  advance and improve. I was left to accept that I would have to live in the “new normal” until I found Dr Hughes. I am so thankful for the progress I am making and the restoration I am enjoying.

I Am Thankful! My Mom is spending her 90th Thanksgiving in No California with her two oldest sons, their wives and a few of her grandchildren. Have yourself a wonderful day Mom. I love you so much!

I Am Thankful! Tomorrow, Dennis and I will be joining families here in Hayden to celebrate Thanksgiving. Every year Venue Church is where we want to be on Thanksgiving Day. I mentioned that I will be baking in the morning. Pastor Garrett likes the pumpkin swirl chocolate brownies that I make every year. I am also bringing stacked potatoes as a side dish. I will be making Dennis’ and my turkey and roasted veggies too. (The strict diet I am on right now makes it necessary for me to prepare ours separately) If I wake early enough, I plan on baking a few cider vinegar donuts for us to enjoy together before the day takes off. We invite everyone to our community dinner which will begin at 3pm. If you are interested in joining us, please let me know! What a gift it is to be thankful together!

I Am Thankful! The hour has gone by so quickly. It’s time for me to take off my oxygen mask. I am beginning my ascent. I will be ready to enjoy the evening with Dennis and our dogs. I sure hope that the weather report is accurate. We are supposed to have a snowy Thanksgiving. Nice!

Numbers 6: 24-26  “The Lord bless you and keep you;
 the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;
 the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Thank you for reading along with me. I bless you and yours always.

Hugs,

Suz

Good Monday Evening, November 19, 2018 @ 21:41:36 MT. I am already fully submerged in my chamber. All is great! My left ear had trouble equalizing this evening but I finally got it together. The ATA is steady at 1.3 and my oxygen mask is working just fine. I will only be in this chamber for an hour tonight because of how late it already is. D has a spinal procedure tomorrow so we need to get him settled in bed soon.

Last last night I received an excellent post from a treatment center that I really appreciate. They wrote about new information that medical science has discovered regarding our cerebellum. I have copied it to use in this blog. You will find it following my closing.

Validate: to demonstrate or support the truth or value of.  Synonyms: prove, substantiate, corroborate, verify, support, back up, bear out, lend force to, confirm, justify, vindicate, authenticate.  It’s use in a sentence: “Clinical trials now exist to validate this claim.”

Through the days and months and years since my fall at work I have lived in a torture chamber created by traditional medical practice. The diagnosis of mild to moderate concussion/TBI has sent me into a dark abyss. Antiquated medicine own the key and lock to the darkness I have lived in…until I realized that there are alternative treatments that will help me claw my way out of that dank and dirty hell-hole.

The emotional stigma is terrible. The limitations and inner turmoil I have gone through is a terrible thing to bear. Today I have healthy choices that I make every day.  I am seeing positive results because of those choices. I align myself with this new mindset and the chains are falling off…one link at a time.

Validated. The information that I am going to share will hopefully open your eyes too. I will attach the article below. It was provided by the treatment center that I follow on Facebook.  I do recommend them to you. I also highly recommend Aspen Integrated Medicine/TBI Therapy @ Dr John Hughes, Basalt, Colorado. This is my lifeline! http://www.tbitherapy.com

Validated…..The following are bits of the article that you can find below!

“The cerebellum’s role is greater than we knew…Exciting new research out of Washington University has revealed that the cerebellum….(is) involved in everything we do…It turns out that what the cerebellum does for motor control it also does for cognition and emotion.”

Validated. The entire article is glaringly Suzanne. It even mentions the difficulties that I still face when traveling in a vehicle. It even mentions the troubles I have cellularly. I am both relieved that I am not crazy but also I am pleased that if certain limitations and deficits are understood to be VALID then I will one day be freed from all of this. Read about how a diet and sleep and exercise and mental clarity and emotional resolve will occur. Read with me that there is hope on the horizon!

My hour has ended. I am beginning to ascent. My mask is off and my ears are doing well adjusting to my environment. Now to the next treatment before bed!

Sleep well my dear ones. Know that you are in my heart and prayers. Keep looking up and believe….believe….believe.

Hugs always,

Suz

Good Saturday afternoon, November 17, 2018 @ 14:47:40. It has been a while since I last wrote a blog. I’ve had some tough days and really had nothing inside of me to share with you. Today you get…….The Whole Enchilada! This idiom describes a complete story, situation, everything. I am right now in that moment! Get ready! It’s live!!

Two nights in a row of less-than-adequate sleep sure took a toll on me. Emotionally, it is hard not to choose the negative thoughts and live in defeat. Spiritually, I tend to withdraw. It is really hard to pray unless a very important need is on my list. I could share a blog on the prayer needs that friends and family have. So I pray. I also listen to my favorite songs and music to help me hurdle the tough stuff. Physically, I am unable to function at or in my current “normal.” I just want to curl up with my blankee and nap through the day. It is not a reality though…so I struggle. Relationally, it takes so much of my already depleted reserve to keep my cool and appreciate the living gifts God has given me. I stay focused on D. He’s got his own bag of tough stuff to deal with.

I am secure in my chamber. Everything is functioning well. I have my mask on and I am appreciating the opportunity to do something as simple as sit in my safe place for an hour to an hour and a half. What a great realization that I have! I am helping my brain recover. I can see the snow falling outside and a quite peace is overtaking me. I could even take a nap but I have chosen to spend this time with you.

I woke last night (after sleeping less than two hours) with nausea and then turned on my side thinking that the nausea would leave me. No, it did not. It got worse. The whole room was spinning. I was disoriented and spinning inside of myself too. The waves of nausea were crashing against my esophagus. I had trouble swallowing because there seemed to be a ball of stuff interfering with breathing. I laid my body face-down on the bed waiting for the motion to stop. I was in a bad BPPV moment. Since my head injury in March of 2016 I have experienced these episodes far too many times. Each one has its own nature and grossness. The medical term is Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. There is a sudden onset of symptoms: dizziness, a sense that your surroundings are spinning or moving, a loss of balance or unsteadiness, nausea, and even vomiting. BPPV is brought on by a change in the position of the head where little crystal inside the canals of the inner ear become dislodged and cause all the symptoms listed. BPPV is often associated with a minor to severe blow to the head. The treatment that relieves the symptoms is easily learned. I rely on D to assist me. It is called the Epley Maneuver. Following the maneuver there is a resting period where you keep your head from resting on either of your ears for a 24 hour period. I usually put a rolled beach towel around my head and lay in my recliner so I am sitting up a bit and I am not able to sleep on either side. This is real folks! I do not like it and don’t wish for anyone to experience something so troublesome that randomly attacks me.

D and I have not done the Epley Maneuver yet. We will take care of it before going to sleep tonight.

The Whole Enchilada!

I have changed my diet and I am adjusting well. Dr Hughes told me to discontinue all dairy products and limit ghee if I choose to use it in my new diet. I am motivated to do things right so all of the dairy (whole milk, cheeses, cheesecake, ice cream, butter.) that I loved has been successfully removed from my diet. I have found healthier replacements. I have replaced whole milk with almond milk and coconut milk. I do not consider cheese even in my tacos. I have found healthy ways to bake and enjoy foods made with coconut cream and coconut milk. I also found that I enjoy ghee. I add a tablespoon of MCT oil on what I am eating to get the boost I need. The most amazing thing that I have discovered over the past month is that I do not have those nasty sugar cravings any longer. I eat raw nuts and berries. I eat meats and vegetables. I enjoy a piece of fruit more today than I ever have. Bread and dairy and sugar are so far removed from my diet and I am noticing weight loss, less aches and pains and more energy. My body reacted with vengeance early on. WOW! My intestines had no clue what I was going to put them through. A few nights ago, I recognized that a jar of organic beef broth messed with me in a large way. It has maltodextrin in it. O my goodness. O my goodness. I will be preparing homemade bone broth from now on!

At Dr Hughes recommendation, I am purchasing two products to assist in my recovery and I am looking forward to the benefits I will receive. One assists specific brain waves. The other is light therapy for my entire brain. I am here in my hyperbaric chamber because of Dr Hughes. He ordered it for me and I am sold on the benefits of daily mHBOT. I am so grateful for the excellent care I am receiving from Dr Hughes. He is interested in assisting me recover! He ordered a lab test and the results are pages long. I will send a sample to the lab for heavy metal toxicity in two weeks. Dr Hughes is interested in this (me) whole person. He cares for his patients. And I am grateful. Thank you Dr Hughes.

The Whole Enchilada!

Thanksgiving Day is just around the corner. Venue Church has a community dinner every year so I am preparing for our time together. I will be preparing a stacked potato side dish. It is yummy. It is baked yellow and red yams/sweet potatoes that are thin sliced and stacked. I will also be preparing my signature dessert dish. Pumpkin Marble Chocolate Brownies! I will attempt to alter the recipe based on my new diet. I am testing it out tomorrow. D and I will be eating a turkey breast and roasted veggies here at home before going to the dinner. We will be full when we get there since we are on a strict diet. I look forward to being with everyone. If any of you want to join us, please let me know. We would love to share Thanksgiving with you.

Thank you for your prayers. I need them. D needs them too. He will be having a procedure this coming Tuesday afternoon at the Dr’s office. He will not be seeing his physical therapist for a while because his condition is deteriorating. We are believing for the very best. We are living one day at a time. We are enjoying what we are learning about God’s sovereignty and grace.

Hugs,

Suz

 

 

 

Good Monday Evening, November 5, 2018 @ 19:56:09 MT. I am comfortably seated in my chamber and looking forward to the peace I so gladly welcome every time I dive. The ATA is right at 1.3. I have my oxygen mask on. I put my personal fan on my right shoulder to get plenty of cool air blowing at my chin. I also have sound therapy happening in my ears. My ice pack is on me like shoulder belts. I am one cool lady! That’s for sure.

Tears Of Joy is tonight’s theme. I am feeling the love of my Mom tonight. She and I spent a few minutes talking earlier today. We kept our conversation short because I have been in a place of mental turmoil. I have been nursing headache and neck pain today. Last night I was able to sleep but I woke with the headache and dizziness. The dizziness was nearly forgotten these past few weeks since the treatments I received from Dr Hughes. I realized that I was experiencing all sorts of emotions too. I am sure that it is because of the bandini mountain that we are facing currently. I suppose it is good that we do not get bits and pieces of bandini over time. It is better in the long run to see everything for what it is. But o my goodness…what a mountain to maneuver around!

Tears Of Joy! caught me off guard. Mom blessed me with a path out of a major contributor  of my current turmoil. She is going to fund two important components to my healing and I need only pay her a small amount monthly. What a blessing! God chose well! He decided eons ago to give me a godly mother and father. Tears Of Joy! I wanted to reject her offer of assistance. I wanted to negate my worth. I had to choose between looking at that mountain of smelly stuff or accepting her hand to walk around it. Humbly, I thanked her. I took my Mom’s hand. And she led me out.

Tears of Joy! Since earlier today, I have found a tear fall from my eyes every time I thought of the wonderful Mom that God gave me. Back in the early 1990’s I had a partial hysterectomy. The surgeon really harmed me. She sewed my vaginal cuff to my bladder. It caused my lower abdomen to become infected and 1/3 of my bladder to die. I discovered the severe issue when I (in public) started peeing down my leg. My vagina had opened up to let the urine out of my body. It was filling my abdomen and causing multiple problems deep inside of me. I wondered why the holes in my abdomen were oozing pus, but what did I know? I needed to be repaired quickly.  The surgeon took many hours to put me back together. He was successful but because of the extent of infection and the drastic repair I had to go through, I would not wake up after the surgeon sewed me up. I was cold and clammy. I was unresponsive. The nurses were doing everything they could to save my life. They put a tent around me and it was blowing very hot air at me to warm my body temperature. My Mom and Dad were waiting patiently for a nurse to tell them that I was okay. They had been waiting for over six hours. Finally my Mom was done with waiting. She found me in recovery with the nurses working to revive me. Mom screamed, and kept screaming at me to wake up. She told me that it was not my time to die. Finally through her tears. prayers and passion I heard Mom’s cries. Her words were faint but I acknowledged that I heard her and promised Mom that I would not die. I survived that terrible ordeal because my Mom refused to give up on me. The following week I needed Mom and Dad to be with me every hour they were allowed to be visiting me in my hospital room. I needed to hear Mom’s words of love. I needed her constant assurances that I would survive. I was NPO for six days when I asked the nurse for jello. Mom told her to get the jello and do it now! The nurse called my surgeon and he reluctantly agreed. You see, my body was shutting down. My intestines would not wake up, so it is not a good thing to feed a person with seriously failing intestines. A nurse brought the jello to me and told me to take little bites. I am not a fan of jello but I had to eat. Mom encouraged me to suck on the jello. I devoured it. In a few hours my intestines were making sounds and I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted. I began walking the day before I ate the jello. The nurses were not sure that I should be standing but I had to move. Mom carried all of the stuff that was attached to me as I walked the halls. It was quite a sight to see. The day I was discharged, I had already walked a mile and was ready to walk all of the way home from Las Vegas to Ridgecrest, CA! Thank you Mom for loving me so much. Thank you for waking me from the door of death. You chose to lift me up from the depths of hell. You always have been my shining light! I love you so much.

Tears Of Joy! I have written about my Mom in other posts but have I told you about how honored I am to be Patricia Mae Komes Hilgen’s daughter? God blessed Mom and Dad with seven live births. I am the oldest. I have six brothers. I call them the Brother’s Six. Each of us are uniquely different but we have Mom and Dad’s hearts toward one another. We love each other with passion and we get irritated with each other now and then! We were raised to keep our eyes and our hearts on the whole and not be fooled by individualism. Mom and Dad involved all of us in weekly activities. We went to church every Friday night and Sunday morning together. We ate the same menu regardless of whether we liked it or not. Mom’s chop suey was our favorite meal together. We waited as each opened their presents at Christmas. We made a big deal over birthdays. We played together. We fought together. We cried together. And we laughed together. Each of us were special parts to one another’s weddings and children’s births. Mom and Dad made every day valuable to us. Thank you Mom. Thank you Dad. Thank you Mike, Joe, Chris, Greg, Terry and Tom. Thank you family! I am honored to be your daughter, Mom!

My 90 minutes are coming to an end. I feel rejuvenated by the oxygen and the use of this chamber. I am cool and refreshed. I am at peace. The sound therapy is very good for my soul. I feel good. thanks for sharing this dive with me.

Tears Of Joy! I am reminded of a song I have sung for years. Its Psalm 126. For those of us who were raised to sing the Psalms, you will know it too. It is about Israel’s return from captivity in Babylon. This Psalm is forever imprinted on my heart. I have suffered so many things in life and endured terrible, tragic events but I have never lost the love my Mom and Dad had for me. They are the glue that kept me alive. Mom, you taught me to love God; Three in One, with all my heart. I can sing this Psalm with confidence and conviction.

Psalm 126 King James Version (KJV)

126 When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream.

² Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them.

³ The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.

⁴ Turn again our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the south.

⁵ They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

⁶ He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

Hugs always,

Suz

 

 

 

Good Sunday, November 4, 2018 @ 17:34:17 MT to you! I am well established in my chamber this evening. I will be diving for one hour. The pressure is maintaining at 1.3 ATA. I have my personal fan working well with new batteries. My oxygen mask is on and I am enjoying the early evening darkness settling over our white wonderland! It snowed all day. A very nice gentle snow too. Hopefully we will get the snowfall we desperately need this season.

I Want To Live Again! The past few days have been unpleasant. Headaches, sleeplessness and neck pain have been interrupting the peacefulness I was experiencing. Last night (the third this week), I was awake until after 4am (3am if you consider the extra hour we got back last night). I was able to rest until 11am this morning but it is not a normal sleep pattern/rhythm so I have been left with headaches and fogginess this week. My neck pain is because my head has not been able to relax like my Dr ordered. I was able to take an hour nap just before I came in here to enjoy my dive. I need the sleep. I need these headaches and the fogginess to dissipate.

I continue to experience living without wearing glasses. I put them on to read when I need to on occasion. I have noticed that I take them off fairly quickly because my new visual world is different. It is hard to explain. When I am tired, my eyesight is not precise. And when I put the glasses on, I want to immediately take them off. It is different and difficult to explain. The world I used to exist in was dramatically altered by the fall at work. It was as if I were on a rocky cliff and the whole world was downhill. I also saw everything in fuzzy doubles. Words would shadow and then grow up and out. People would widen and have larger auras about them. Trees and vehicles would confuse me so I was always in a fight/flight state. In my mind, nothing was safe around me. Now, I am beginning to recognize my world as safe and grounded. Occasional moments of unclear vision occurs but then it is adjusts itself and I see clearly again.

My gastrointestinal issues are still so troubling. I am learning to live without dairy. It is not easy. My cravings are for cream cheese and butter and cheese. I have stopped drinking the one cup of coffee I used to have in the mornings. I am drinking water primarily and I am sipping on ginger tea too. I am trying to incorporate more greens into my diet. I have found that a smoothie of fresh berries and almond milk is great to enjoy too. We are having fajitas for dinner. We have leftover meat that will be julienned along with red, yellow, and orange peppers, white and green onions and topped with a green chili verde salsa. We make fresh paleo naan bread for the tortilla. D will eat the bigger ones and I will enjoy a taco size.

I Want To Live Again! I want so much to be a fully functional woman. I want to enjoy life and live it to the fullest. I have not been at church for three weeks and really miss being there. I would love to be able to travel to California and visit our daughter and her family and also be with my Mom. I would enjoy being with our three grandchildren who only live across the street. I really hope to return to swimming. The peace I used to experience in water is only a faint memory. I most of all would love to enjoy the activities that D and I used to do together. I want to have the energy to sew again and read books like I used to. I want to explore all of the adventures I dream of like riding a bike or walking on local trails or sitting on a swing in a park. It would be fun to go shopping or take the day and visit museums. I have missed so much since my brain injury.

It is about time for my dive to end. Thank you for taking a moment to listen to my heart. Today’s dive was great. I breathed in the oxygen and thought about the wellness that is in my future. God bless you.

Keep D and I in your prayers. D sees the back specialist this coming week. We have some very difficult challenges ahead. Only God can remedy our future. Yeah GOD!

Hugs,

Suz

 

 

Good Monday Late Afternoon, October 29, 2018 @16:46:22 MT to you. I am sitting in my comfortable hyperbaric chamber right now. It is at 1.3 ATA and I am wearing my oxygen mask. I have a bottle of water right next to me. My computer is on my lap. My cell phone is next to me. My personal fan is blowing at my left shoulder and neck. I have the ice pack on my back and chest. I am comfortable except for being very tired.

I am Sleep Deprived! I was up until after 4am with indigestion and fits of bowl issues all night. D really needed his sleep so I was able to recline in the living room with my computer for a while and live through the pain. I sipped on ginger tea for most of the night. I was able to keep it warm with water from my electric teapot. I listened to the deer jumping up against my crab apple tree last night but didn’t watch them.

I am pretty unmotivated today. I was able to sleep until 10 this morning but the sleep pattern was broken into last night. I am sure that I am experiencing a kind of detox with all of the work the stem cells and this chamber are helping me with. I would prefer not to eat because I know the troubles that will catch up with me. I have changed my diet also. Dr’s orders. I am on a Paleo/Ketogenic Diet. No sugar, no dairy, no wheat or grain and most fruit are off-limits for a while too. I am adjusting but there is always a cost to pay and brother am I glad that we recently bought a case of tp.

I am looking forward to going to bed early this evening. My body wants to feel the comfort that laying down provides it. I want to dream. I want to provide my brain with the necessary rest it needs to repair itself. I also want a less active gi tract tonight!

I am leaving now because I am not able to think well. Its been one of those days. I am cool and happy in my chamber. I will try to rest while I am in here too.

I am sending my love your way today/tonight dear ones.

Hugs,

Suz

Good Sunday Evening, October 28, 2018 @ 17:34:26 MT. I am enjoying my dive as I always do. The pressure is right. The oxygen is flowing. The air is cool. I am ready to begin another journey with you. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Tribute! Today’s blog is dedicated to Eugene Peterson, the author of The Message Bible. He passed away six days ago, on October 22nd. His family wrote, ““During the previous days, it was apparent that he was navigating the thin and sacred space between earth and heaven. We overheard him speaking to people we can only presume were welcoming him into paradise.” What a way to leave planet earth! One of the last words Eugene Peterson said was, “Let’s go!” Read more if you are interested in Christianity Today.  In the late 1990’s The Message Bible New Testament was first published. The OT and NT Message Bible was completed in 2002.

I chose to spend the rest of my life in God’s service a few years into our marriage. It was probably in 1976. I began reading the King James Bible initially. It was too hard to understand even though I enjoyed listening to Pastor Chuck Smith read from it. I found  the New American Standard Bible version and used it for years. I loved the New King James Version when it came out. The Living Bible was very good too. The New International Version was also just as good. Then came the Message Bible and my eyes and heart exploded (in a very good way) when I was introduced to it. It spoke to me in today’s American language. Thank you Eugene Peterson.

There are so many events in life that stand out; both good and bad, blessed and sad. There are people who either by their kindness or their harm contributed to forming our lives. Each are like the outline of a coloring book image. They formed the borders and we choose daily to either blot out those lines or learn to color inside of them.  Those events and those people brought us to where we are today. They are always characterized by solid black lines, aren’t they? Today, I choose to color inside of the lines with vibrant colors. I choose well!

The events of my life prior to marriage were not so good in many ways. I used to say that my childhood ended at age eight. It was a tough transition to leave the familiarity of family and home town and move 3000 miles away to the great unknown. California is where I faced the horror of being raped and continued sexual, emotional, spiritual and physical abuses which resulted in my near-death at the age of 17 years. So much pain and shame. So much injustice. I was not a bad girl. I always wanted to be obedient to my parents, teachers, coaches, priests and nuns. I wanted to be loved and not harmed. After God saving me from near-death I acted out. I was angry and wanted to hurt anyone who came too close. I did not trust anyone. Why should I? I was told by my swim coach, “You know that I love you!” I was told by my eighth grade and again twelfth grade nun/teacher, “You are worthless and ugly.” I was stalked for over 20 years by the abuser who was responsible for the near-death nightmare I still live through nearly every day of my life.

One of the evidences of my past is the PTSD I suffer regularly. Its sinister. It messes with every part of my being. I have to fight it daily. I withdraw from relationships. I think not-so-good thoughts. I avoid being touched unless I am aware of that person being safe. I am obsessive, compulsive and phobic. Isolation is my best friend.

Somehow God showed up and He keeps showing up in so many loving ways. I still wonder where He was all those years ago. Why didn’t He rescue me from all of the pain I still struggle with today? Why did He allow those mean and hurtful people to do those terrible things to me including mind-rape me? If I was told that I had to do something I didn’t question it. I had no rights. I had no personal boundaries…they were taken away from me swiftly. All of my rights were left behind, discarded, neglected, mocked and shamed in all of the traumas I experienced.

The most recent TBI caused my past to catch up with me. What a snowball effect! BUT what a wonder-filled blessing God has provided in bringing all of my parts back together in harmony! I have noticed that my mental health is much better when I do these dives. Yes, mHBOT is the best medicine for me. I have been here for over an hour and enjoying every breath I take. The pressure is good because I am focusing on the reality that I am doing myself good. I am giving a very loving gift to myself every time I sit in my chamber. I imagine blood vessels being formed in those dead spaces of my brain. I believe that God is sending each oxygenated breath to my lungs where all of that good stuff is benefiting all of my cells. I am trusting that the time I spend in here is the best choice I can make in looking forward in a hope-filled future with D. We are together in God, in love, in good relationship, in wholeness. Yes! These dives are for our marriage!

It is time to end this dive. I sometimes want it to continue. I have been in here for over 1.5 hours. Dinner is probably waiting. Thank you D. Thank you for joining me today. Keep looking upwards….you might get a glimpse of God.

I have included a chapter that Eugene Peterson wrote in his translation of 1 Corinthians 13 for your reading pleasure. It’s all about HIS LOVE. Everything I am. Everything I do. Everything I say. Everything I think….leads me back to HIM.

Hugs always,

Suz

1 Corinthians 13 The Message (MSG)

The Way of Love

13 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

² If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

^3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

^8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

¹¹ When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

¹² We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

¹³ But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Good Thursday Evening, October 25, 2018 @ 20:34:59 MT. I am in my chamber with mask on and cruisin in a very pleasantly cool atmosphere. Today was a good day. I walked over to our son’s house twice. So I got the exercise my Dr told me to do. “Walk!” At mid-afternoon I realized that a headache was brewing. By dinner it was obvious that my head was hurting. I am no longer taking tylenol or ibuprofen for pain. Dr’s orders. I take supplements that he recommended I take when I experience head pain. It has been over an hour since I took the supplements and my head is feeling much better. Thank you, Dr Hughes!

Jaded Mindset is tonight’s topic. Let’s start with a definition. I found this online: Jaded–made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by having or seeing too much of something. Mindset–a mental attitude or inclination, a fixed state of mind.

Jaded Mindset.  NOT A GOOD THING!

What am I referring to? Why would I even choose to write about it? BECAUSE each of us face Jaded Mindsets every day, in every one of life’s scenarios. Those of us who have suffered  brain injuries are met with brick wall Jaded Mindsets every step of our journey.

It is pitiful. It hurts those of us who lost parts of ourselves and need your assistance and kindness every day of our recovery…not your Jaded Mindsets.

I am done with accepting the medical community’s biases and textbook answers to all of our questions and needs.

I am deeply saddened by the attitudes of friends and family members who seem to know everything about us and judge us by their standards and not by our needs and limitations.

I am disappointed by the world around us.  There is an imaginary line that the world assumes as real for each of us who are in the middle of learning to cope with “the new me.” These people make the assumption that everyone has experienced a bump on the head, a whiplash, a rear-end accident, or a bad alcohol/drug experience at some time in their lives……..so it is no big deal that I am living in a prolonged abyss of suffering. “Get over it!” “Move on!” “What are you belly aching about now?”

Jaded Mindset. Whatever happened to unconditional love and care for another human being? Where did compassion go? And most of all…do any of the doctor’s graduating from medical school swear by the Hippocratic Oath anymore?

“I swear by Apollo the Healer, by Asclepius, by Hygeia, by Panacea, and by all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgment, this oath and this indenture.

To hold my teacher in this art equal to my own parents; to make him partner in my livelihood; when he is in need of money to share mine with him; to consider his family as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if they want to learn it, without fee or indenture; to impart precept, oral instruction, and all other instruction to my own sons, the sons of my teacher, and to indentured pupils who have taken the physician’s oath, but to nobody else.

I will use treatment to help the sick according to my ability and judgment, but never with a view to injury and wrong-doing. Neither will I administer a poison to anybody when asked to do so, nor will I suggest such a course. Similarly I will not give to a woman a pessary to cause abortion. But I will keep pure and holy both my life and my art. I will not use the knife, not even, verily, on sufferers from stone, but I will give place to such as are craftsmen therein.

Into whatsoever houses I enter, I will enter to help the sick, and I will abstain from all intentional wrong-doing and harm, especially from abusing the bodies of man or woman, bond or free. And whatsoever I shall see or hear in the course of my profession, as well as outside my profession in my intercourse with men, if it be what should not be published abroad, I will never divulge, holding such things to be holy secrets.

Now if I carry out this oath, and break it not, may I gain for ever reputation among all men for my life and for my art; but if I break it and forswear myself, may the opposite befall me.”

Jaded Mindset…I read as I copied the oath above and realized that by no means are most modern-day doctors going to swear by it. Truly, if they did Big Pharma or Planned Parenthood or Insurance Companies would not influence them to practice medicine the way that they do. They would actually listen to their patients needs and offer hope to all in need of their expertise.

Jaded Mindset. Our friends and family are truly the ones we need the most in times of great trials. It is so sad that they have made judgments based on personal emotion. Since we instantly changed from being a goal-oriented, self-sufficient person in a moment why can’t they call us with a kind word? Why can’t they call with a lunch-on-me? Or how about an hour’s visit to brighten our darkness? These efforts would soothe our souls and help us regain the dignity that we lost with our brain injury.

Jaded Mindset. The world is so cruel. Our employers, neighbors, landlords, etc have zero tolerance for who we are today. They gossip about us behind our backs. They laugh at us when we can no longer complete a full sentence. They kick us out on the street because our source of income instantly ended last month. It has never been our intent to be irresponsible. It is a vicious cycle of bad stuff happening to good people. That’s the truth.

Then comes the personal Jaded Mindset. Yes, it does! We learn to not trust anyone. We try hard daily to cope with simple tasks and get angry with ourselves when nothing is going right. We cry and yell and worry all day long. We are unable to sleep or plan a meal or keep appointments. Without the help of caring loved ones we continue to slide down that very slippery slope of hopelessness and despair.

I am so grateful for the constant companionship of my D. I live today because he has loved me through this journey of recovery. Where am I today? D and I took on my brain injury (BULL BY THE HORNS) as our project. We chose many unconventional things to help us navigate through the mess. We are nowhere near the finish line but we are on track and in the race together.

D did not work a job initially. I needed him every moment of every day. D stood by me. He cared for me in ways that others probably did not understand. D found a part-time job doing laborious work at minimum wage last year just to help us keep our faces above the flood waters that were trying to overtake us. D worked hard and it took a toll on his health. Now he suffers a lot of pain all of the time and will be seeing a back surgeon in a few weeks. He is unable to continue to work the job he was hired to do. I pray for him. I try to do a few things around the house to help him out now. Its tough. Really tough. Only GOD can rescue us from what we are up against.

Jaded Mindset. Will we make it? Will I recover? Will D recover? Will we sink or float? Only GOD knows. I will not succumb to the threats of the spirit of fear. I will not be defeated. I will run this race with an attitude of success because I know and do not doubt that GOD IS WITH US.

Keep far away from a Jaded Mindset. Fix your eyes on the goal set before you. Find joy in simple accomplishments. Expect blessings from above. Know that your entire life has prepared you to succeed this trial. Beat the enemy to the ground. You are much more than a victim of your circumstances. And Love Yourself. Please Love Yourself.

I will be ending now. I bless you in the Holy and Most Lovely Name that is above all names.  Yeshua Messiah, my Beloved.

Hugs,

Suzanne

PS I looked up the names Hippocrates and of those Greek gods. Interesting.

Hippocrates: The Father of Western Medicine.

Apollo: God of music, poetry, arts, oracles, archery, herds and flocks, diseases, healing, light, sun and knowledge.

Asclepius: God of medicine, healing, rejuvenation and physicians.

Hygeia: Goddess of good health, cleanliness, and sanitation.

Panacea: Goddess of Universal health.