Good Sunday evening, October 7, 2018 at 22:00.20 MT. It is gently raining outside. Fall is definitely here. The highs today were in the 40’s. We had our sprinkler system blown out yesterday. The hoses are disconnected from the outside faucets. And we turned on the house heater. We have two stations. One is downstairs and the other is upstairs. Downstairs is set at 64 degrees and the upstairs is set at 68 degrees. I really love our heating system. It is in floor heat so It certainly rises and warms anything in contact with the floor, but the heat does not leave the house as quickly as a boiler system or regular furnace system. I am home most of the time so the temps are not regulated much throughout the cold months. I will raise the temps as the outside is really cold but for now we are pleased with our comfortable environment.
I am inside of my chamber. I did not sleep again last night so I took naps throughout the day. I finally ate food right around 6pm. I am tired and hopefully I will sleep tonight. The chamber is nearly inflated. I am looking forward to the oxygen. I seem to have developed a slight cold. My ears are adjusting to the pressure well. All systems are good. My hour begins now. It took nearly nine minutes to inflate.
I chose What Is Happening? for today’s blog title. There are so many things going on around us in the world, locally, in our family, and in me personally. I prefer when there are no rough waters but I join in and go with the flow! I won’t be left behind!
I just thought on the 1969 song by Simon and Garfunkel “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and now I am singing it inside of my head. “When you’re weary, feeling small When tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all” This is exactly where I am right now emotionally and physically. Spiritually I am doing well. I just need the assurance that because I am in this place of raw emotion and physical exhaustion and pain, that as my tears fall, God will be there to dry them all. Psalm 56:8 says “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each on in your book.” I know that journaling/blogging my feelings is cathartic…but is it enough? (Back to Simon and Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Waters) “I’m on your side, oh, when time get rough And friends just can’t be found Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down” I thank You Lord for Your faithfulness. You are my father, You are my Lord, You are my strength, You love me unconditionally. You did lay down Your life for me. Thank You Lord. “When you’re down and out When you’re on the street When evening falls so hard I will comfort you” This is my assurance. I know that there are so many others in tight places and I have little to cry about but I am crying. I know that much of my emotion has to do with the lack of sleep I have had in the past few days. I also know that my emotions are raw because I have been re-visiting terrible times in my childhood. I know that I am in physical pain because my foot surgery was less than three weeks ago and the bones are still remembering the trauma they went through. I know all of these truths but they do not cover me like You do Lord. “I’ll take your part, oh, when darkness come And pain is all around Like a bridge over troubled waters I will lay me down” Yes, You did take all of my pain and darkness and You nailed it to the cross. Death and hell did not hold You. I am grateful. I need that bridge right now Lord. I need to be standing on it with You by my side. Can we take a while and just be with one another? Can I fall into Your loving arms and feel Your strength at holding me up? Will I make it through the next month or so as I do all that I can to get better from this brain injury that has stolen much of my vitality, my future? I need You Lord. Guide me and direct me. Hold my hand through the upcoming procedures. Prepare my heart for all of the goodness You have for me in the future. “Sail on silver girl Sail on by Your time has come to shine All your dreams are on their way See how they shine” I’m giving myself 100% to the journey. I believe. Please help my unbelief. “Oh, if you need a friend I’m sailing right behind Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind.” What more do I have to look forward to, Lord? Without You. Without the advanced medical treatment and recovery, what else can I do? I trust You. It was You Who directed me to mHBOT and Dr Hughes. And I know that You are right. You have me in the palm of Your hand. It’s just that I can’t do this alone and I need the assurance that You will never leave me or forsake me. This is not a melt down. It’s me saying that on my own, I will fail but with You right along side me, I will triumph. Just being honest. Just being vulnerable. Just being as transparent as I can be. Just being Suz!
What Is Happening? in your life that you are troubled about? What do you need prayer support in? What can I do for you to show you I care? We are each in our own boats on troubled waters. He promises to sail right behind you and me. O Lord help us all. We so need You today.
My dive is nearly done. Thank you for sharing it with me again!
Hugs,
Suz
Suzanne's LiveWell Blog 